Can you allow joy in?
Why does joy feel painful or unsafe at times?
Why is it that joy often feels out of reach for many of us?
How do you speak about something that you struggle to connect with?
These were just a few of the questions that kept running through my mind as I began to contemplate my relationship with and observations of joy.
When I sat down to write the article for this season, the first thing I did was look up the definition of the word and I had a physical reaction to what I read.
The word joy means: the emotion of great delight caused by something exceptionally satisfying; a source of keen pleasure. The word keen really stood out to me. Keen means intense or sharp, so shaped as to pierce.
I sat for a minute letting that wash over me.
Joy is such a powerful feeling that it is capable of piercing us straight in the heart, into the depths of our being. It evokes instantaneous excitement we can’t make sense of, and don’t care to try. It consumes us in such a beautiful way, allowing us simply to revel in the sensation. For a moment, we find ourselves fully present relishing in our existence.
As children we so freely allow joy in. We play and delight in the smallest of activities. Our bodies feel wild and unrestricted. This is a state of being that comes so naturally to us. There is no effort, just pure surrender to the wonder of life itself.
And then there comes a point when our excitement becomes too much for another to hold, or for the world to accept. Our joy makes someone else uncomfortable. We may be told to calm down, to be quiet, to behave ourselves, or that it’s time to grow up. We gradually adopt such suppression as the ideal way to exist in the world. Play, humor, amusement, and wonder are no longer acceptable.
This moment comes at a different time for each of us but eventually we learn to dim our light. We restrict, contract, and suppress our joy to make those around us more comfortable and to accommodate a world that glorifies achievement. And unfortunately, over time, this constraint also becomes more comfortable for us.
We become so accustomed to being productive, seeking control, and maintaining a level of seriousness about life that we forget how to allow joy in.
This is an unfortunate cycle that we find ourselves in, and it happens for good reason. Life is extremely painful at times and the amount of injustice so many face can be unbearable. No wonder we are taught, often at such a young age, to shut ourselves off from joy. We are learning how to survive and how to navigate such pain, because joy requires vulnerability. It asks us to let go, to be seen, and exposes us to the reality that the feeling is finite.
There are the lucky few who’ve never lost touch of this internal spark. I admire their bravery and thank them for the reminder of what lies dormant in each of us, just waiting to be rekindled.
Joy, pleasure, and delighting in the wonders of life are our birthright. We were born into this world full of amazement and fascination, so ready to soak up all that life had in store but we have to remember how to let it in.
